So you know that Garbage song, I’m Only Happy When It Rains? Yeah, well, it took me forever to realize that song was about being emo. Not like I’m actually only happy when it rains, but when you grow up in the NW, especially in some sort of black hole rain shadow, a rainy day is so comforting. I got on this subject because yesterday it rained, and it was cold and chilly and wet and we had the windows open so all of that could blow in. A good rainy day, where you can hear the rain outside and smell it in the air, always makes me feel safe and like everything is right with the world. It’s the kind of thing that makes you say, in all seriousness, “Wow, it’s a beautiful day today,” when you get up in the morning and everything is wet and cold and nostalgic.
And it’s not like I like being wet and cold or anything. It’s funny how this kind of weather reminds me of walking to school back in junior high, and while I don’t remember particularly enjoying that part of my day–especially if it involved cold drops of water pouring over me–but the same weather now can make me think of those times and only pull out the good stuff, like the way the rain makes me feel so alive.
I have a vitamin D deficiency, and some days, despite taking supplements, I sit here longing for the sun like nobody’s business. I feel like some withering old plant dying in the corner. And sometimes I think maybe one of these days I’m going to have to relocate to a place with actual sunlight. And then a rainy day comes along and I’m pretty sure I couldn’t ever leave here.