Guest Blog #2 – Dia Reeves

Today’s guest blogger, on the subject of pirates, ninjas, and Batman, is YA author Dia Reeves!  Dia’s book, Bleeding Violet, follows the story of a teenage girl teetering on the edge who runs away to find a new life in a new town, only to discover her new town is full of dark secrets and no one is safe.

1. If a pirate, a ninja, and Batman got in a fight, who do you think would win and why?

The ninja, because ninjas are stealthy. By the time the pirate or Batman noticed the ninja, they would be dead already.

2. Who’s your favorite pirate/ninja (in history or fiction)?

My favorite ninjas are the three holy fools from the movie Death Mask of the Ninja. Now, the three holy fools weren’t actually ninjas (they were Shaolin monks) but it still counts. The three holy fools were brothers who hurt so many people with their kung fu that the head monk forbid them to ever leave their house. But that totally didn’t slow them down. One of them managed to fight off a gripload of soldiers WITHOUT ONCE setting foot on the ground. Soooo cool.

3. Along that line, who’s your favorite movie Batman?

Erm…the first one?

4. What would be the best thing about being a pirate/ninja/Batman?

The best thing about being a ninja would be the ability to beat up a gang all by yourself and fly through the air and deflect bullets with your trusty katana.

5. Do you think there will ever be peace between pirates and ninjas? How do you think a truce would ever come about? Do you think Batman could negotiate the truce?

First of all, Batman is too self-involved with his billions of dollars and gorgeous women to bother with either ninjas or pirates. And ninjas and pirates don’t bother with each other. Pirates stay in their little boats and ninjas stay on land.

6. How would you end said truce and get the feud rolling again and how would you deal with Batman if he tried to interfere?

I guess if pirates came ashore onto ninja territory and didn’t show the proper respect, the ninjas would attack and five seconds later, the pirates would be toast. And if Batman interfered he would become jelly. And then the ninjas would have a nice little snack.

7. If you tripped and fell into a radioactive vat of cutlasses and gold dubloons and emerged as a pirate-themed supervillain, what would your superpower be?

The ability to see big black X’s not only on maps, but on the land itself.

8. If you stumbled a little farther to the left and fell into a radioactive vat of throwing stars and nunchucks and emerged as a ninja-themed supervillain, what would your superpower be?

The ability to kill whole armies with only my pinky.

9. If you were a pirate/ninja/Batman and found yourself in love with the enemy (i.e. a ninja/pirate or, say, Catwoman), how would you handle your taboo relationship?

I would teach whoever it was my ninja skills which would be so awesome, the enemy would give up everything to stay with me and learn more.

10. And finally, in the event of the Zombie-pocalypse, how would pirates/ninjas/Batman each survive?

Pirates would just stay out at sea—whoever heard of zombies who can swim? Batman would barricade himself in his mansion with one or two of his lady friends. And ninjas would stay out of the zombies’ reach by running along the treetops.

Salmon Run!

I went for a walk today and on a whim headed over to the park by the creek downtown. There’s a salmon hatchery there, and I remembered the salmon spawn in the fall, so I checked it out. And they were there! Holy crap, it was cool. They were jumping all over and splashing and stuff. So naturally I took a video:

I filmed a lot more than that, but I cut out some of the good bits. Once you’ve seen one fish jumping, really, you’ve seen them all. The thing they’re trying to jump over in the first part is a fish ladder. For anyone who doesn’t know, salmon swim upstream every year to return to where they were born so they can spawn. After they spawn, they die, and the little baby fry swim out to the ocean, then come back again the next year to start the cycle all over again. The fish ladder mimics them swimming upstream, which looks really hard. That one fish in the video that just leaped over the whole thing has the right idea, I think.

From Drop Box

Guest Blog #1 – Frenetic Reader

For today’s post, I asked book blogger Khyrinthia of Frenetic Reader some important questions about pirates, ninjas, and of course Batman.

1. If a pirate, a ninja, and Batman got in a fight, who do you think would win and why?
A ninja, OF COURSE. Pirates are too drunk too fight, and ninjas move so fast that Batman wouldn’t be able to catch them.

2. Who’s your favorite pirate/ninja (in history or fiction)?

I am not on Team Pirate, but I am going to have to go with Captain Kidd. My grandmother who enjoys looking up our ~ancestry~ tells me we are related to him by marriage or something. Which is AWESOME.

3.  Along that line, who’s your favorite movie Batman?

Will you glare at me if I say the only Batman movie I’ve seen is The Dark Knight?

4. What would be the best thing about being a pirate/ninja/Batman?

If I was a ninja, I would actually be coordinated and speedy, which would be quite fun. If I was Batman I’d have the neatest car EVER! And if I was a pirate I could have a sword. Swords are fun.

5.  Do you think there will ever be peace between pirates and ninjas?  How do you think a truce would ever come about?  Do you think Batman could negotiate the truce?

There will never be peace. Not even Batman could knock some sense into those silly, drunk pirates.

6. How would you end said truce and get the feud rolling again and how would you deal with Batman if he tried to interfere?

If such a truce ever came about, I would probably find the pirates (since ninjas are impossible to find) and tell them the ninjas wish to kill them or something. As for Batman, I would probably hire the Joker or one of his other enemies to deal with him.

7.  If you tripped and fell into a radioactive vat of cutlasses and gold dubloons and emerged as a pirate-themed supervillain, what would your superpower be?

Since I am a VILLIAN, my pirate power would be to convince the “good” pirates that ninjas are way better than they are. Powers of persuasion, yay!

8.  If you stumbled a little farther to the left and fell into a radioactive vat of throwing stars and nunchucks and emerged as a ninja-themed supervillain, what would your superpower be?

The power to use my karate ninja skillz to beat even the most powerful superhero. Superman better watch out.

9. If you were a pirate/ninja/Batman and found yourself in love with the enemy (i.e. a ninja/pirate or, say, Catwoman), how would you handle your taboo relationship?

EWWWW I would never fall for a pirate. They’re all drunk and icky. If I was a pirate and fell for a ninja, I would happily leave my pirate peers behind. I don’t really think I could be Batman, since I am a girl. But if I was Batwoman, I would probably be solitary anyway, so I’d just go hang with the enemy that I loved.

10. And finally, in the event of the Zombie-pocalypse, how would pirates/ninjas/Batman each survive?

The pirates wouldn’t, because they fail too much. The zombies wouldn’t even be able to CATCH the ninjas, since ninjas are super speedy. Batman would get in the Batmobile and run over all the zombies until he found a safe place to live.

Thanks, Khy!  Remember y’all, leave a comment or become a follower to enter the contest to win one of three handy how-to guides.  You know you’ve always wanted to know how to take a kick to the head like Batman, or how to find a ninja clan, or how to navigate the Caribbean!

CONTEST!

To celebrate the relaunch of my site–a little late, I know–and because I love superheroes, pirates, and ninjas, I’m hosting this awesome contest! W00T! I’ve got guest blogs coming up by published authors as well as book bloggers, where I ask the important questions, like, “If a pirate, a ninja, and Batman got in a fight, who do you think would win and why?”

My book, The Rise of Renegade X, is about superheroes and supervillains, and Batman is one of my favorite superheroes, and certainly my favorite “bad ass, could be mistaken for a villain but is standing just this side of the hero line” superhero. So naturally a Batman training manual is essential for leading a happy and full life. And as for pirates and ninjas, who doesn’t love pirates and ninjas? There was even a scene in Renegade X where the characters talked like pirates (you can tell which side they’re on in the epic pirate/ninja battle). I ended up cutting it, but I can assure you it’s an important part in my characters’ psyches. Or something like that.

So to celebrate Batman, pirates, and ninjas (hey, I thought you were celebrating your website?!?), I present to you three awesome prizes:

From Drop Box

Three lucky winners will get either The Batman Handbook, The Government Manual for New Pirates, or, last but not least, Ask a Ninja Presents the Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon.

These books are really hilarious, and of course essential guides to life. I already have my own copy of The Batman Handbook, natch, but I’m trying to keep my drool off the pirate and ninja guides (why does she keep mentioning pirates before ninjas? That’s piratist!), because I’ve read the first couple pages, and I’m already jealous of whoever wins them!

But Chelsea, you say, how do *I*, a humble non-pirate/non-ninja/non-superhero win one of these highly valuable, sought-after prizes? Is there a test? To win the ninja book, do I have to prove I’m not a pirate in disguise? Can anyone enter? What about the Joker? CHELSEA, WHAT IF THE JOKER ENTERS YOUR CONTEST AND WINS THE BATMAN BOOK AND LEARNS ALL HIS SECRETS????

That’s just a risk I’m going to have to take! Yes, there’s the possibility that a pirate with mobile internet on their ship will enter and win a ninja handbook, and it’s possible a ninja has already slipped into the room and stolen the pirate guide I thought was sitting next to me. I’m taking that chance! Anyone can enter, like so:

The contest runs from October 1st to October 14th, at which point I will gather up all the entries and draw three names out of a hat or other hat-like object. Name number one gets their first choice, number two gets second choice, and third gets whatever’s left (sorry, third!). Then I will mail them out and all that.

This is going to be one of those point contests.

–You get +1 point for commenting on any post between Oct. 1st and Oct. 14th–can be added up for more points.
–Becoming/already being a follower of the blog or the LJ is +2 points.
–Becoming/already being a fan on the Renegade X facebook fanpage is +2 points.
–And tweeting or blogging about the contest earns you +1 point.

Let me know in the comments which ones you’ve done (provide links for twitter and blog mentions) and tally up your points. And tada!

Minor update while I wait for Glee to come on

Today I got to see the cover for The Rise of Renegade X advanced copies.  It’s pretty damn sweet.  I mean, every time I see the cover, I’m in love all over again, but the ARC is going to have the full wrap around cover.  Not only does the back look gorgeous and have a nice little description of the book, but it also compares it to both King Dork and The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Goth Girl. This is my whoa face:  O__o  And the spine has the same lettering as the front.  You know, the cool orange comic book looking lettering that would TOTALLY make me pick up the book to check it out, even if all I could see was the spine because it was all stuffed on a shelf with a million other books.

My Cover!!!

This is going to be a wraparound–I have seen the full art, with the buildings extending into the distance, and it’s breathtakingly awesome–but for now I present to you the front panel of my absolutely PERFECT book cover!

The awesome front panel of my cover!
The awesome front panel of my cover!

Seriously, this sucker rocks. It could beat Chuck Norris in a roundhouse kick fight, that’s how awesome it is. You can’t tell if he’s a hero or a villain in this picture–perfect–and he looks BAD ASS either way–double perfect. His face and hair are perfect–I was worried his hair wouldn’t look right, but somehow the folks at Egmont pulled the image OUT OF MY BRAIN and put it in this picture. I could say that about the whole cover, really. This is what I imagined the cover would look like, only they made it ten times better with some serious graphic novel style. There’s this point where your book is like someone you know on the internet but have never seen pictures of. You have a picture in your head of what it will look like, but you don’t *know* what it looks like, and this is so close to what I pictured–minus my lack of imagination for details–that it’s uncanny.

Honestly, I was hoping for a cover I wouldn’t hate, one I might even be able to enjoy. When I was a kid, I used to get REALLY UPSET if the cover didn’t match what happened in the book or especially if the characters on the cover didn’t have the same hair/eye color and features as in the text. That seriously pissed me off. Nowadays, I can mostly ignore that kind of thing, at least for other people’s books, but for my own? So you can see why I was hoping just for nothing to be wrong. And even though they kept telling me how amazing this cover was, how it was a knock out, all the hype still didn’t prepare me for how PERFECT it is. P.E.R.F.E.C.T.–PERFECT.

I love it. It stands out, and with so many YA books aimed at girls (even if boys would like them, they often have girly covers), this has the potential to attract both male and female readers. In a hypothetical world where I wasn’t the author, if I saw this book in the store, I would flip out. I would be all, “OMG, what is this?!?” And when I opened it up and discovered the voice and the premise? Yeah, I’d pay full hardcover price for this baby. That’s how cool it is.

Alright, the gush fest is over. I’m going to go back to pretending to be a tres zen author who doesn’t start frothing at the mouth with excitement every time she sees her book cover.

-__-

Okay, you know that moment when you go to put the knife in the sink and you realize you still needed it, so you stop, but it’s already touched a plate? And you’re like, “It only touched that plate that I don’t know where came from a little. I could just pull it back out and pretend like this never happened,” but you know in your heart that you can’t really pretend it didn’t happen, so you reluctantly let the knife go and get a new one? Yeah.